Back In Time, Towards The Future
by RussianChinaDoll
Summary: After being left with a daughter, single father Russia slowly learns how love after nearly losing all faith and isolating himself. (Gah, this is a bad summary lol. May go up to an M if I see fit)
1. Coming Home

A/N: Well, here I am with my first serious fic. I've been working on this for a while now, and I think it'll be pretty good.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Hetalia (Although I wish I did!)

Pain and sadness, the two feelings were almost too much to bear. The tall man looked out at the snowy landscape of his homeland Russia, it was beautiful yet sad at the same time; one heart beating as millions of others. Ivan Braginski, the personification of Motherland Russia turned amethyst eyes towards the horizon, lowering his head after a few moments. "I know nothing more than fighting, I am not fit for love; only war..." Turning, he moved up the stairs to his home; opening the door and stepping inside.

Once the door shut he shivered, sniffling quietly. A beating heart, yet he felt like there was nothing in his chest. _I want to go back to that time, back to when I was truly happy and time when things were better, when I felt more than just violence..._

He wiped his eyes with a gloved hand then slipped off his coat along with the gloves and sighed softly, blinking a few times. Ivan wanted to go back to that time, even if it were for a moment. Just a moment or two would be good enough for him. The man sighed quietly and let himself fall back onto the bed, eyes closing.

_Even for a moment...I want that happiness..._

Washing the blood from his most trusted pipe, the large Russian let out a sigh that seemed to ooze happiness. Setting the metal item down he shed the heavy coat that adorned broad shoulders. Ivan rubbed his arm for a moment before turning torwards one of his three ''wards'', smiling a little darkly. "Fetch me bottle of vodka and a few towels, Toris. I need to clean up more, and drink sounds good right now da." The trembling young man nodded and feld the room rather quickly.

Bloodstained gloves were quickly removed and set aside to be cleaned, the man examning his hands for a moment before moving to the fireplace; a large fire was already burning rather brightly. Ivan knelt against the mantle, staring into the flames. So powerful and deadly fire was, yet it brought warmth to those who needed it. Ivan glanced over as the young man returned, a tray bearing a large bottle of vodka and several towels.

" sir, I...I've brought what you needed. Is there anything else that you require?," Toris looked to the floor, avoiding eye contact with the Russian man. Truth be told, the male was scared of Ivan; he didn't want to be here but there wasn't really anywhere to go at the moment. When the violet eyed man shook his head, the smaller Nation nodded and set the tray down, bowing quickly and leaving before the other man could change his mind.

Ivan turned his attention to the towels and picked up one, it was wet. Well, at least the Lithuanian knew well enough to wet one towel... He picked up the other, noting it was dry before setting the cloth down and wiping his face down with the moist material; not seeming to take too much interest in the blood that was there.

The Russian set the now stained towel aside and picked up the clean one, drying off a bit. A soft sigh escaped the man's lips, none too excited. The latest fight...didn't really seem like a real one. It was more of a bluff...an attempt, that was rather a sad thing to think of...

"Well, just means they are weak, they will become one with Russia soon enough..." Becoming one with Russia, yes indeed; that is the man's goal. Being said, anyone foolish enough to stand in his way or be defiant would be crushed to little more than dust.

_Da, become one with Ru-_

"Papa!~"


	2. Dinner And A Talk

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from Hetalia (Although I wish I did!)**

_"Papa!~"_

Ivan jerked slightly, eyes opening quickly to glance over; meeting a pair of eyes similar to the man's own violet orbs. He sat up after a moment, pulling the young girl onto the bed and into his lap.

"Viktoria, how did you know I was back?...Were you treated well?"

"I know when papa is home because I can hear him walking!" The snowy blonde nodded a few times, giggling softly. "Da! Raivis and I played hide and go seek! I kept winning because I was always able to find him, but he could never find me!" She beamed happily, amythest hues shining like two beautiful diamonds.

"Ah, that is very good. I am glad he was being so kind to you." Ivan carefully brushed a few fingers over mocha colored skin, moving up to thread through the child's hair gently. "I know I promised that I would get you a dog, but I was unable to find one today. But I make promise that I find one for little daughter. Papa wants his little princess happy but also safe."

Viktoria's eyes seemed to light up at the mention of a dog, nodding quickly before moving from the Russian's lap and standing up straight. Oh yes, she indeed had the Russian's hair and eyes; but the rest of the pretty young child...

"I will go now, so papa can have some time to himself!" She smiled a bit and turned, leaving the room quickly. Viktoria couldn't understand why she felt...sadness coming from her father, but she wouldn't ask until she felt it was right...or the Russian told her himself.

Ivan watched the girl leave then stood up, making his way from the room and towards the kitchen. Indeed he preferred being served, but right now the man wanted to make something on his own.

"O-oh! , I didn't hear you call..." Toris had turned around to see the Russian walk in, swallowing hard. If his master had called for him, but the Lithuanian hadn't heard; oh it wouldn't be good... "I-I'll make you something if you want-"

"No need, I will make something myself..." The Russian gave a nod, watching the rather scared male leave quickly. "Hm...wonder what is on his mind..." He rubbed a heavily scarred arm then moved to the pantry, grabbing a few things and setting them on the counter before grabbing a large pan; placing it on the stove.

Cooking had been hard at first when Viktoria came along, but he'd picked it up with a bit of help from Toris along with Raivis. Ivan found that cooking actually did some good for his stress levels, it was a very calming experience for the large man; something to pass time and make him all the more happy. Although most dishes that were made now weren't just insipired by his daughter...

"You are making stir fry again?" A pair of slim arms wrapped themselves around the Russian's waist, head resting against the man's back. "I like it when you make one of the dishes I taught you..." The arms disappeared after a moment, one grabbing Ivan's wrist gently; urging him to turn. A soft noise came from the taller male, setting a wooden spoon down and turned slowly; violet hues wandering down to stare into amber.

He shrugged a bit then reached up a little, patting the Asian man's head; a few fingers running through soft ebony hair. "I suppose. I guess I just felt insipired to make it. But I do want to ask something..." Ivan let his hand drop, watching the shorter male intently. "Was Viktoria good while I was gone? She mentioned playing Hide and Seek?..."

Yao stared for a moment then nodded a few times and smiled. "Shi, she did play that with Raivis. She seems to have found a friend in the young man, like an older brother..." He chuckled a bit and moved to grab the spoon, stirring the food. "You know, you are doing a bit better...but you must always remember to add the peppers in near the end; after most of the food is done cooking." The Chinese man had no problem stating the other's minor faults, and it seemed that Ivan had nothing bad to say or do at all.

"Da, alright then. I'll be sure to remember that for the future." The Russian watched the other cook happily, shoving a hand in his pants pocket. Ivan didn't think that the other man would even care, but it seemed that after Viktoria arrived, Yao's more motherly side kicked in; and the wonderfully handsome country had arrived out of the blue. The Russian man remembered that day, it was just one of those days no person could ever forget. Of all the people that he would even consider it, Yao stepped foward. Ivan couldn't help but be so incredibly grateful for such kindness, cold as the Russian was...or seemed to be.

The Asian moved after a bit to grab two plates, plating the food before offering one to Ivan. "I only helped a little, you did most of the work." He smiled as the Russian took the plate and grabbed a fork, sitting down to eat. "You...seem a bit quiet today," Yao spoke softly, getting his own utensil and sitting down. "Is something on your mind?..."

Ivan took a bite of the food then closed his eyes for a moment, sighing a little. "It is day of 'anniversary'...the day when my heart was shattered to pieces..." The Russian's eyes opened slowly, looking to the man sitting across from him. "Today is day that...that he brought Viktoria here...and said that he wanted nothing to do with her." The Russian's lips trembled for a moment but he steeled himself, taking a few breaths before continuing. "I tried to talk to him, to figure out what I had done...but it seemed that...because she was born a girl he...he didn't want..."

"Please don't, you do not have to continue Ivan. I understand completely." Yao set his fork down and reached out, settling a small hand over the Russian's larger one. "It will be okay, the pain will be there for a while but...with time; things will be alright." Amber orbs softened as Ivan took a deep breath, trying to fight back the tears that were forming in violet hues; the tears were threatening to spill out at any moment.

"D...da..." Ivan swallowed hard then looked down to the smaller hand, eyes trailing up to look towards the other. "A few weeks later you arrived, and I felt so relieved...I know that I would always stalk you...and try to force you to become one with me but to be honest..." The snowy blonde sighed a little bit then went ahead with his choice of words. "I figured you would never even consider helping me..."

A soft giggle escaped the Asian as he pulled his hand away, getting up and moving to sit in the large man's lap; not fidgeting as an arm wrapped around his waist instinctively. "I know, and I honestly never thought I would be helping young out but...I like children, and after seeing thousands die in war...they are...well, they are all special; something so very special to me..." Yao curled his head back a little, blinking a few times. "...And...speaking of children..." He took the Russian man's arm and moved it slowly, letting the large hand rest against his stomach as a sign of content and comfort; not to mention trust. "I want to become one with you, I'm sure of it. I know I probably should have said something eariler but..."

"No no, it is alright, da. I have been waiting for a while now..." Ivan looked down a little, feeling a bit guilty. "I wanted to say something myself but I was not sure how you would react. When Yao first came I wanted to but...I was still hurting and I did not know if I was just setting myself up to be...let down again..." His hand rubbed over the Asian man's stomach gently, smiling as the motions envoked a soft giggle from the smaller male. "I will be more than happy to make that happen but..."

"Hm?..." Yao looked up slightly, frowning a little . "Is...is something wrong?..." He swallowed hard then looked down for a second then up, nibbling his lip unsurely.

"No, I just want you to eat well; tonight will be a long one, da~..." The last few words came out as a low purr, sending shivers up Yao's spine. He nodded a few times then moved to his own seat, eating happily. Well, he had his doubts but now...the Chinese man couldn't help but be more than excited at the thought of the events to come along.

Ivan couldn't help but smile a bit. If the other had finally come forward to him with such feelings, then it was time for the Russian to give himself freely, to be happy once more. He'd gained Yao's trust easily, but now he wanted to keep the other; did not want to give him up. Tonight would be very special, not for him but for Yao as well; it'd be perfect. The Russian finished up his plate and stood to take it to the sink, stopping as the other male grabbed his arm.

"You go prepare...I will clean up here." The Chinese male smiled softly and let go of him, standing and taking the plate. "Make sure everything is right for this event..." Yao took up his own plate and moved to the sink, glancing back for a moment. "Go on now, I will take some time but I will not take too long."

The large Russian nodded a few times and moved from the kitchen and off toward his room, looking around before starting to prepare for the night's events. It didn't take that long at all, Ivan soon took himself a seat on the bed, looking to the bedside dresser before opening it slowly; withdrawing a small box. Ivan fumbled with the small thing for a moment then opened it, gazing at the ring that lay nestled in a soft bed of velvet; the stone a deep amber color. It had taken time, but he felt that tonight would be the night to ask the other Nation...But he didn't want to push things. Maybe they really were moving a bit too quickly, and things needed to be slowed down. The last thing he wanted to do was do something with Yao, then the exotic country leaves him for one reason or another...

His head snapped up at hearing soft voices, closing the box and setting it down on the dresser; getting up quickly. The snowy blond blinked a few times, violet eyes widening at the sight of the Asian that stepped into the room; never before had he seen such a sight so...amazing.

**A/N: Hm, I think I coud have done better with this chapter. I may end up rewriting parts of it or the entire thing. I'm just not sure yet ha-ha. Anyway, I hope all of you enjoy this chapter!**


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